RUBILYKSKOYE INBOX.

[explosion]

TELEPATHY • HOLOGRAM • LETTERS • DELIVERIES • ACTION

✿ Rubi-telepathy (easy mode) feels different to ✦ Wanda-telepathy (hard mode).

Comments

[explosion]

[ She can't help but laugh. ]

He's very, very annoying, isn't he?

I'll help in any way I can. You just let me know. And I'll make sure he knows, even though we both know he won't ask for it. I know what it's like to have people fear you for something that's inherently you, and I don't want that for him.

A monster is a monster but the monster isn't the man.

[unconscionable]

I dunno. Every human is monstrous. Most just don't transform about it.

But yeah, he doesn't believe me when I tell him I've already forgiven him, so it might not get through his thick skull. Come bitch to me if he's an idiot. Maybe together we can get him through this.

[explosion]

Should we have a dedicated day to bitch about House? Maybe Sunday brunches where we sip tea and spill it at the same time?

[unconscionable]

And bikkies?

[explosion]

Do you think I would allow us to have Sunday brunch to shit talk House and not have bikkies?

The shame you must feel.

[unconscionable]

So much shame. Should never have made such a grievous mistake.

But yeah, a Sunday brunch sounds good.

[explosion]

Do we have a few before we tell him what he's missing out on the best bikkies in the world?

The company obviously wonderful, too. And you.

[unconscionable]

And me.

Let's keep it between us for now. Don't want him to think we're planning an intervention.

[explosion]

That's a good idea.

[ One she hadn't considered. She really doesn't wish for House to shut either of them out. ]

Hopefully, we can tell him when he feels more open to it. I don't like the look of defeat on his face. It makes his eyes less bright, like the ocean is sad.

[unconscionable]

That's really poetic.

[explosion]

When I'm inspired, it just comes out. Feel free to call me Wandaspeare, but know that many will feel insecure when they hear that name.

[unconscionable]

There are probably people here who don't know Shakespeare? If House can take credit for Led Zoe's riffs you can pinch a sonnet.

[explosion]

He takes credit for those riffs? The audacity of this man!

[ And yet, so in character that Wanda isn't surprised at all. ]

You won't Et tu, Brute? me if I claim I wrote those plays?

[unconscionable]

No, go right ahead. You do Hamlet, I'll do Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.

[explosion]

And if anyone finds out it isn't true, we take them out, Godfather-style.

A movie which I wrote and directed, of course.

[unconscionable]

Love your work. Shame there's no cinema here hey.

[explosion]

Yet.

We could always put on plays. I think the town would love a performance every now and then. It'd break up the half-naked festivals.

[unconscionable]

There's that troupe, they do a show occasionally. Not my scene, I haven't acted since we lost the regional Greek theatre competition in high school.

That reminds me, though. Your magic items. They need to be stuff you know about? I mean, if I wanted a guide for how to build a piano, could you wiggle your nose and wish it up?

[explosion]

I could.

And if I didn't know it, being a telepath is very handy. It makes sure I don't make any mistakes.

[ Which begs the question from Wanda "Let's Take Shortcuts Because of Trauma" Maximoff: ]

Why would you want a guide to build a piano? I could give you the piano.

[unconscionable]

I know. But then it would be a gift from you.

Besides, I like to keep busy. Learn new things.

[explosion]

I would consider the music you play to be a gift to me.

I could give you a guide to build a piano. But a "How to For Dummies" is not parts.

You have to be very careful when you ask a witch for things. Who do you think inspired the genies to be cheeky?

[unconscionable]

Oh, I don't play. House does, or I'm pretty sure he does. And I made all the keys, and I traded for a bunch of wood, but I don't know anything about pianos, really, so I don't know how to turn that into something that makes music.

What do witches want? I'd offer you my firstborn but she'd probably be pissed.

[explosion]

[ She's glad they're not face-to-face. She knows her expression falls at the mention of taking a firstborn. ]

This witch drives a very, very hard bargain. One that puts fear into every man and woman.

A favor in the future.

[unconscionable]

Ooh, that is a classic, actually. Do I get a fairy tale clause? You know, if I'm kissed by a princess or I learn your real name...

[explosion]

Hm.

I think so. If a princess kisses you, you will spend your days as a very annoying frog and your nights as a man dressed in very bright, obnoxious pink. No one will be able to look at you. If you speak of this to anyone, I will turn you into a very old, dilapidated carriage no one wishes to use.

I told you. I'm a very mean witch who happens to be very fond of fairy tale clauses.