[Friends. Is that what they are? He'd never been particularly good at friendship, even among his own kind. He thinks of a very stubborn Warlord who once insisted that he had no friends, only people he protects, and wonders when he came to apply the same sentiment to himself.
Perhaps when almost everyone he was remotely close to had died.]
All the more reason for me to help. I can handle beasts, and whatever else may be out there.
[That's the easy part. It's everything else he's struggling with. And maybe part of him wants to ask her how she copes with it, but that seems unfair now he's seen some of her own struggles first-hand.]
Getting out of town. Having a task to focus on. It will help.
[ it sounds like that's what he wants. it's not something wanda can judge. hadn't westview been a break? (even though it had caused more reason to take a longer break… no one ever said wanda did things the easy way.) ]
A break is never a bad thing. Sometimes things here can get a little repetitive. Sometimes you feel stuck. Powerless.
[ he's seen her at her most powerless, even though she had been at her most powerful. she knows the desire to escape well. ]
I have no doubt you will fix what needs to be fixed.
But just know you don't always have to do it by yourself.
[Though he's not sure why he's openly admitting to it. Perhaps because she had done so first.]
I know how I would normally deal with some of the things I have seen broadcast on DeerNet lately. Some of the things I've seen happening in the streets. But these people are not Risen, and this is not the Dark Age. Things are different here.
Back home, the people I know would have apprehended them and put them in a cell.
I don't know if that's helpful at the end of the day. They always come back. At least when they are dead, it is a one-way trip.
[ is that a little too morbid? wanda thinks felwinter won't think her awful for saying it. the avengers have a code, and it's a code that wanda respects... but she thinks that, at times, it's a code that gets them into more trouble than they need. ]
I know there's a middle ground somewhere. I haven't been able to find it.
Precisely. The Iron Decree forbids killing of Ghosts and final deaths. But if it serves to protect our enemies more than it protects our people, what good is it?
I was very unpopular among the Iron Lords for my willingness to do what others would not.
[And despite not caring about people's opinions of him, Felwinter is glad that Wanda understands his point of view.]
Edited (i can spell i swear) 2022-09-09 09:24 (UTC)
I'm not surprised. People hate what they're afraid of.
[ would wanda apply this to herself? not completely. it's different. felwinter would understand how one rule applies to him and one rule applies to everyone else, at least. ]
Sometimes you need to do what others can't. Sometimes that's what needs to be done to protect others.
You have to live with it. They don't. All that matters is what you feel about it and if you can live with yourself.
I also don't begrudge them their opinions. They wanted to put an end to centuries of Risen fighting amongst themselves. It was only our methods that differed.
[ a lot, but, you know—this is one of the first times wanda's coming to terms with it. ]
A lot of people were afraid of me. They always felt that what I could do was weird.
And then they thought I was dangerous because I accidentally hurt people. I feel like no matter how good your intentions are, people are still going to think badly of you no matter what. Sometimes it's just best to let them.
[ because wanda is wanda, she takes that as her invitation. she doesn't require a lantern to travel from her home to the sanctuary—and right in the room felwinter's in. (being her is sometimes very, very useful.) she appears a little distance away from felwinter (she doesn't wish to spook anyone) with an easy click of her fingers. she's getting better at honing her craft.
with slightly heavy footfalls (she's never been the best at tiptoeing), wanda peers up at the guardian sapling with a small smile and a tilt of her head. ]
It really is very peaceful here.
[ wanda doesn't mean to sound a little surprised. ]
[Oh. That was... really very fast. Felwinter's inexpressiveness hides his surprise well as he rises to his feet and tucks his Omni away in his greatcoat. He is staring, deeply curious once again about just what Wanda's powers make her capable of.]
The tree has an energy which reminds me of the Light. We're cut off from it here, but this is—
[Familiar? Comforting? Unimportant, ultimately. It's not what he wanted to discuss.]
...Wanda. I'm going to show you something, and I want you to describe it.
[His only movement is to raise one hand. In his palm there forms a deep purple orb. A tiny, shadowy swirl of emptiness like a miniature black hole. It dances and pulses with energy.]
Don't overthink it. What does it look like to you? What would you say it is made of?
[ she has a feeling felwinter will never cease surprising her.
looking down at the purple orb he holds in his hand, she glances up at him before ultimately doing as he requests. despite being able to form red energy in her hands and shape it to what she needs it to be—and after seeing alien technology and powers (and feeling it)—it seems… strange. and unique. and utterly mesmerising.
and very purple, like agatha. ]
It looks like a planet—like Saturn. But I don't think… [ she frowns at it and keeps her hands behind her back to stop herself from meddling with it. although she may be powerful, she does know that magic on magic can sometimes have disastrous effects. ] I don't think anything is living on it.
[ and if there is… she can't sense it. not yet, at least. ]
[Whatever Felwinter thinks of Wanda's response, he doesn't react to it. The specifics of the answer were not really the point, but he is pleased that she's curious rather than fearful, and that her observation leans towards the cosmic rather than the unsavoury.]
No, it doesn't hurt. It's part of me, just as your powers are part of you.
[And while there's nothing living on it, one with sensitivity to such things may feel that there is life there, or the essence of it. As though it's also part of something much bigger and older than Felwinter himself.]
As Risen, we wield the Light in three distinct forms: Solar, Arc, and Void. For a long, long time it was considered taboo to use the Void, because people believed it was Dark, and the Darkness is our enemy.
[He allows the orb to dissipate in a shower of purple sparks.]
[ when the orb dissipates, wanda smiles like a child at christmas. she moves her fingers gently, wiggling them as if she's able to still feel its signature. she thinks she can, even though it grows faint. ]
Was that what that was?
[ she looks at him, her lips still curved in a gentle smile. ]
The Void? [ she shakes her head softly. ] It didn't feel Dark at all.
[ it's strange to think something that beautiful could be considered so negatively. but wanda knows that many people are fearful of what they don't understand. many had been afraid of her. wanda had been terrified of what she had become.
but that? that had been something she thinks has been mistakenly criticised. ]
[ it's how everyone else responded to her powers. they were frightening. they were cruel. sometimes wanda thought they were right in believing that their cruelty came from the wielder.
but she was also learning that sometimes her powers didn't warrant fear. it wasn't fair. ]
But I'm glad that you're not. [ when she smiles, it's small. ] I'm tired of being feared.
[Felwinter tilts his head as Wanda speaks, like a curious bird. Were he anyone else he might insist that he couldn't imagine fearing Wanda, but that would be patently untrue, and patronising in a way he does not think she deserves. Fearing a power is foolishness, like fearing a weapon rather than one who wields it. Fearing a person, and what that person is capable of, is another thing entirely.
He doesn't fear her, but he can imagine others doing so. It only takes a single misstep.]
Many years ago, I challenged a notorious Warlord to duel. He was a brute of a man, built like a mountain, and every bit as immovable. My terms were that, should I defeat him, he would join us. The other Warlords respected and feared him; he would make an invaluable ally.
He took my head off with a single blow. [And oddly enough, from the way he says it, such a brutal death was neither concerning nor even particularly unusual.] Even so, I decided to keep trying. I stayed with him for several weeks, and challenged him daily. Every time was the same. He was very efficient.
[Folding his hands neatly behind his back, Felwinter falls silent for a moment, as though thinking on how best to make his point. The lives of Risen were so very different from those of mortals like Wanda, and he was so very terrible at expressing himself.]
He could have granted me my Final Death at any moment. He was not bound by the Iron Decree, and had been very clear that he did not want me there. I had every reason to fear him. But I... saw something in him that the others did not. Does that make sense?
[ can felwinter blame wanda for furrowing her brows thoughtfully as she regards his head? for that to be loped off, surely, well… she takes for granted the fact the removal of a head is instant death. (it's what would've stopped the mad titan once and for all.)
but she nods. she clasps her hands in front of her. while she wishes things were black and white—they're simpler when they are; when someone is bad, it's easy to vilify them—she knows that they all exist in a gradient of grey and other colours. ]
It does. He sounds scary, but… looks can be very deceiving. It's all about action and intent.
[ and if someone doesn't mean to hurt others… then she would hope that would mean that doesn't make her awful.
she cocks her head to the side. ] How did you keep your head?
[ wanda knows she means this both literally and figuratively. how did he not give up after repeated failures? ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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They worry about their friends who are capable of taking care of themselves. It can't be helped.
[ 😊 we're making the friendship bracelets as we speak. ]
And, no.
I won't not worry about you.
Repairing anything in the Trench can be dangerous, even when it involves people of very high skill.
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Perhaps when almost everyone he was remotely close to had died.]
All the more reason for me to help. I can handle beasts, and whatever else may be out there.
[That's the easy part. It's everything else he's struggling with. And maybe part of him wants to ask her how she copes with it, but that seems unfair now he's seen some of her own struggles first-hand.]
Getting out of town. Having a task to focus on. It will help.
[He thinks.]
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[ it sounds like that's what he wants. it's not something wanda can judge. hadn't westview been a break? (even though it had caused more reason to take a longer break… no one ever said wanda did things the easy way.) ]
A break is never a bad thing. Sometimes things here can get a little repetitive. Sometimes you feel stuck. Powerless.
[ he's seen her at her most powerless, even though she had been at her most powerful. she knows the desire to escape well. ]
I have no doubt you will fix what needs to be fixed.
But just know you don't always have to do it by yourself.
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[Though he's not sure why he's openly admitting to it. Perhaps because she had done so first.]
I know how I would normally deal with some of the things I have seen broadcast on DeerNet lately. Some of the things I've seen happening in the streets. But these people are not Risen, and this is not the Dark Age. Things are different here.
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[ wanda has a feeling that it may not involve holding hands and gently tugging someone along. but she's been wrong many times before. ]
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[He's not ashamed of that.]
I've never hesitated to do what is necessary, even if it meant breaking my oath.
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I don't know if that's helpful at the end of the day. They always come back. At least when they are dead, it is a one-way trip.
[ is that a little too morbid? wanda thinks felwinter won't think her awful for saying it. the avengers have a code, and it's a code that wanda respects... but she thinks that, at times, it's a code that gets them into more trouble than they need. ]
I know there's a middle ground somewhere. I haven't been able to find it.
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I was very unpopular among the Iron Lords for my willingness to do what others would not.
[And despite not caring about people's opinions of him, Felwinter is glad that Wanda understands his point of view.]
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[ would wanda apply this to herself? not completely. it's different. felwinter would understand how one rule applies to him and one rule applies to everyone else, at least. ]
Sometimes you need to do what others can't. Sometimes that's what needs to be done to protect others.
You have to live with it. They don't. All that matters is what you feel about it and if you can live with yourself.
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[Not about that, at least.]
I also don't begrudge them their opinions. They wanted to put an end to centuries of Risen fighting amongst themselves. It was only our methods that differed.
You sound like you speak from experience.
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[ a lot, but, you know—this is one of the first times wanda's coming to terms with it. ]
A lot of people were afraid of me. They always felt that what I could do was weird.
And then they thought I was dangerous because I accidentally hurt people. I feel like no matter how good your intentions are, people are still going to think badly of you no matter what. Sometimes it's just best to let them.
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I want to show you something. Are you busy?
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[ wanda laughs; she likes her little mum jokes. ]
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If that's too far, I can come to you.
[ in a blink of an eye, even! ]
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[Sat under the Guardian Sapling, as he tends to when he needs some peace of mind.]
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with slightly heavy footfalls (she's never been the best at tiptoeing), wanda peers up at the guardian sapling with a small smile and a tilt of her head. ]
It really is very peaceful here.
[ wanda doesn't mean to sound a little surprised. ]
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The tree has an energy which reminds me of the Light. We're cut off from it here, but this is—
[Familiar? Comforting? Unimportant, ultimately. It's not what he wanted to discuss.]
...Wanda. I'm going to show you something, and I want you to describe it.
[His only movement is to raise one hand. In his palm there forms a deep purple orb. A tiny, shadowy swirl of emptiness like a miniature black hole. It dances and pulses with energy.]
Don't overthink it. What does it look like to you? What would you say it is made of?
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looking down at the purple orb he holds in his hand, she glances up at him before ultimately doing as he requests. despite being able to form red energy in her hands and shape it to what she needs it to be—and after seeing alien technology and powers (and feeling it)—it seems… strange. and unique. and utterly mesmerising.
and very purple, like agatha. ]
It looks like a planet—like Saturn. But I don't think… [ she frowns at it and keeps her hands behind her back to stop herself from meddling with it. although she may be powerful, she does know that magic on magic can sometimes have disastrous effects. ] I don't think anything is living on it.
[ and if there is… she can't sense it. not yet, at least. ]
Does it hurt to hold it?
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No, it doesn't hurt. It's part of me, just as your powers are part of you.
[And while there's nothing living on it, one with sensitivity to such things may feel that there is life there, or the essence of it. As though it's also part of something much bigger and older than Felwinter himself.]
As Risen, we wield the Light in three distinct forms: Solar, Arc, and Void. For a long, long time it was considered taboo to use the Void, because people believed it was Dark, and the Darkness is our enemy.
[He allows the orb to dissipate in a shower of purple sparks.]
People fear what they don't understand.
my apologies! i thought i had replied to this.
Was that what that was?
[ she looks at him, her lips still curved in a gentle smile. ]
The Void? [ she shakes her head softly. ] It didn't feel Dark at all.
[ it's strange to think something that beautiful could be considered so negatively. but wanda knows that many people are fearful of what they don't understand. many had been afraid of her. wanda had been terrified of what she had become.
but that? that had been something she thinks has been mistakenly criticised. ]
No worries!
[Now is really not the time for long-winded Warlock theories.]
But I wanted you to know that I... understand, on some level. And I don't fear your power, Wanda.
❤️!!
[ it's how everyone else responded to her powers. they were frightening. they were cruel. sometimes wanda thought they were right in believing that their cruelty came from the wielder.
but she was also learning that sometimes her powers didn't warrant fear. it wasn't fair. ]
But I'm glad that you're not. [ when she smiles, it's small. ] I'm tired of being feared.
Please excuse how long this got.
He doesn't fear her, but he can imagine others doing so. It only takes a single misstep.]
Many years ago, I challenged a notorious Warlord to duel. He was a brute of a man, built like a mountain, and every bit as immovable. My terms were that, should I defeat him, he would join us. The other Warlords respected and feared him; he would make an invaluable ally.
He took my head off with a single blow. [And oddly enough, from the way he says it, such a brutal death was neither concerning nor even particularly unusual.] Even so, I decided to keep trying. I stayed with him for several weeks, and challenged him daily. Every time was the same. He was very efficient.
[Folding his hands neatly behind his back, Felwinter falls silent for a moment, as though thinking on how best to make his point. The lives of Risen were so very different from those of mortals like Wanda, and he was so very terrible at expressing himself.]
He could have granted me my Final Death at any moment. He was not bound by the Iron Decree, and had been very clear that he did not want me there. I had every reason to fear him. But I... saw something in him that the others did not. Does that make sense?
i love this!
but she nods. she clasps her hands in front of her. while she wishes things were black and white—they're simpler when they are; when someone is bad, it's easy to vilify them—she knows that they all exist in a gradient of grey and other colours. ]
It does. He sounds scary, but… looks can be very deceiving. It's all about action and intent.
[ and if someone doesn't mean to hurt others… then she would hope that would mean that doesn't make her awful.
she cocks her head to the side. ] How did you keep your head?
[ wanda knows she means this both literally and figuratively. how did he not give up after repeated failures? ]
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